I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
