Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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