I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The adults are the big ones right?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
