Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
