ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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