First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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