i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
