ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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