Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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