I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Congratulations! We have a period
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