oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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