There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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