1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There's always time for handjobs
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
