He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
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