he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Someone came in the potted fern
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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