i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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