forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
