Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
