when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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