I look better un-naked...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize