How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
