I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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