My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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