But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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