tell your sister to shave her snatch
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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