I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
