Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
third nipple confirmed
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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