Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
