i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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