I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
