hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
