I'm going to jail i love you
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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