Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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