after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
