Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can't turn off my feet"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
