hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
