True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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