I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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