My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
