he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
only if we run a train.
done.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
