the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
im on a boat
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