why didn't you poke me back
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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