hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
