just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
