i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
