please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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