I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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