I just saw a hot homeless man
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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