Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This is my gift to your gina
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
