it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm passing your future prison.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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