I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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