I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was confusing and full of hummus
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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