shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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