im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
