I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
