I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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