I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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