Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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