Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
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He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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